Thursday, October 4, 2018

Wanting VS Choosing

     The words want and choose are too frequently interchanged with one another, and I feel that too many people fail to see the major significance in the difference between the two. Only recently have I discovered that a train of though containing the word want, and the word choose, requires very different approaches and thought processes. Want is just a thought, a day dream, an idea, a suggestion, but to choose something is a completely different animal. It’s a commitment, it’s written is stone, it’s both terrifying and empowering, it’s life altering.

     When you learn to distinguish between the two, you gain control. Control over your finances, your health, your knowledge, your job, your happiness, your life. At first it seems like a scary concept, but it starts with taking ownership. You need to understand, that where you are in life, your social status, financial status, your health, are all results of your actions in the past, and that where you go in the future, is dependant on the choices you make for yourself from this point forward. People love to blame others, point fingers, and claim they got dealt a bad hand. Everyone thinks they are a victim, except people that choose to not be victims, choose to save more money, choose to go to the gym, choose to not settle at their job, choose a better life, choose to be a better person. Yes, life can deal you a shitty hand. You can throw your cards down and pout, stomp your feet, cry, complain how unfair it is, or you can accept it, play the cards you’re dealt to the best of your ability, and hope for a better hand next time. It’s a choice.

     How much weight do you lose, if you want to go to the gym? How much money do you save, if you want to put 10% of your income in a savings account? How often do you get to drive a Ferrari, if you want to own one? How much money do you lose, if you want to blow $10,000 in Vegas? Read this paragraph again, but change all the “want”s to “choose”. There are lots of things we want and lots of things we don’t want, luckily, most of the time, we can choose those things to happen, or not to happen.

     Understanding the power of choosing and the uselessness of wanting is pivotal. Choosing has consequences, some good, some bad. It’s up to you whether you want to live with those consequences or not. It’s 100% commitment.

     I’ve always wanted a Ferrari. No, it’s not stupid to want one, it’s stupid to buy one. I’m going to leave that as a want, and who knows, maybe one day, it’ll be a choice, but for now, I see it as a huge financial setback, with very little reward. I want one, but choose to not have one. There are more negative than positive consequences by choosing to own an expensive, luxury car.

     A few months ago, I started doing the “Miracle Morning”. It’s based on a book, that suggests that getting up really early in the morning, getting a bit of exercise, reading a bit, writing a bit, meditating, and eating a healthy breakfast, will make your days more productive, make you healthier, reduce stress, and help you be a better you. The book was true. I agreed with almost everything it stated. The author had evidence and facts to back it up. While I was doing the miracle morning, I was better in every way the book said I would be. I was on my toes, instead of my heels. I stopped doing the miracle morning. I hate getting up early. I want to, but every morning, I choose not to. Somehow, I’ve decided that sleeping in, outweighs all of the positives of getting up early. I really, really want to be a morning person, and be more productive, but wanting isn’t enough. As a matter of fact, wanting isn’t anything.

     You can want something, but without a choice, it won’t happen. Choice takes desire, and will power. Choice means you wont accept less. Choice means overcoming your fears, your habits, your addictions, your laziness. Choice means taking action, because the status quo isn’t good enough. The status quo isn’t getting you where you need to go, or enabling you to be, who you want to be.

     The wonderful thing is, choice happens in a split second. It’s so simple. To choose something means it’s going to happen. You aren’t suggesting that it might happen, one day, hopefully. And once you tell yourself, it’s going to happen, your brain will change. Say it like you mean it, and believe in it, and your brain will look for ways to make it happen. It’s no longer something the brain can dismiss. Your brain needs to come to terms with this, and make the decisions necessary to make it happen. It might involve actions you don’t want to take, but, if you’ve made the choice to accomplish something, you will take those actions. It’s so simple, but don’t confuse simple with easy. Making one simple, split second choice, might result in a few small actions, or might be more difficult than you ever thought imaginable, a lifetime commitment of a completely different life style, involving millions of subliminal choices, and setbacks. But you’ll have a course, you know where you’re headed, and even when there is a setback, your brain will recalculate the new fastest route to your goal, the same way your GPS does, when you miss a turn. The destination didn’t change, just the route to get there. Your brain still knows, you are going to get there, you made the choice to go there.

     If you decide, that in ten years, you want to quadruple your net worth, nothing will happen. If you choose it, your brain will guide you in every decision from that point forward. You’ll question all of your financial decisions. Maybe you’ll realize that in order to accomplish your goal, you’ll need to work longer hours, cut costs, find a better job, invest your money better. These wont be choices you will have to make, they will just be the necessary steps to get where you know your going. Just be careful to understand that you can choose anything, if you are willing to live with what is needed to accomplish it. If you want to quadruple your net worth in 2 weeks, you might need to rob some banks. That’s up to you to decide, but you need to understand, that it’s an option to choose, albeit a poor one.

     The reason I’m writing this is because I see so many people want things, and they don’t understand that it’s simply a choice to have them. If you choose to spend two hours a day, in front of a TV, choose to spend your income on a new SUV, choose a cheese burger and soft drink, you’ve chosen an uneducated life, with bad health, and no money. If you choose an hour of reading educational books, and an hour of exercise, choose a cheap used car, choose to invest the money you save by being frugal, and choose a salad, you’ve chosen to be smarter, to be better paid, to be financially free sooner, to be healthier and more energetic. What life do you choose? When you compound those daily choices over years, it’s easy to see how one person becomes overweight, unhealthy, depressed, broke, and bitter at the world because of who they are, even though they are the only person responsible for who they are. They aren’t a victim of anyone, or anything. The wealthy, upbeat, healthy person didn’t get dealt a better hand, or get fed by a silver spoon. The have nots will complain that the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer. It’s completely accurate. Think again of the compounding effects of your life choices. Someone that chooses to watch a lot of TV, and eat unhealthy food, will gain weight, and in turn have less energy. Less energy will make them less ambitious. Less ambitious leads to reduced productivity, meaning less promotions at work, less money, more depression, being more likely to stay home due to lack of money. The person that has very little, will lose it all. On the contrary, the healthy eater, that gets exercise, and educates himself, will have more energy, be more ambitious and productive, make more money, be happier and more outgoing, which will cause him to meet more people like him, and more life opportunities will arise. The people that have, will get more, not due to some bullshit, diabolical scheme, but because they attract success, results, and opportunities. The healthy, positive, ambitious person is looking, and ready to seize the next great thing that comes into their life, the unhealthy keep their head low, and hope everything passes them by, failing to see opportunities. As the healthy, positive, ambitious person sees an opportunity, the lazy, underachiever braces for impact. The lazy hate the successful. They think it’s a system in which they can’t win, so they sit on the couch and eat cheesies, and complain. They chose their life, and you get to choose yours.

     It’s easy to see why there are so many unhealthy, unambitious, underachievers. It’s hard to see the forest through the trees. Eating right, getting up early, going to the gym, wont make you rich tomorrow, or make you more energetic or happier in a week. It might make you more unhappy in the short term, and maybe it’s hard to link cause and effect, when it’s stretched over years. People want to take a pill, and be a better person by tomorrow, not give up junk food and TV for the rest of their lives. People might even think that it’s not in them to be successful, so why try? But we could all be more successful than we are, if we stopped doing the things we know we shouldn’t do, and did the things we know it takes to be better. When you get home from work, or wake up Saturday morning, or go pick out food to eat, ask yourself, “What would better me do? What would the person I want to be do?” Would better you binge watch reality TV, with a box of doughnuts, or would they read an education book, or even watch an education documentary with some carrot sticks? Would they sleep until 10:00am, or get up at 8:00am and get some exercise? It’s those daily choices that set people apart. Do you think the people at the top of the food chain were born smart and are naturally fit, or do you think they choose books over TV, vegetables over potato chips, wealth over poverty. 

     It all comes down to what you want and what you choose. What are you willing to give up, to get what you want? If you are willing to give up those things, then make the choice.