Envy, the most useless emotion.

Why do we become jealous or envious, of other people, or their material items? Envy is a very strong emotion. People have different ways of expressing envy. Some might be happy to see other people do well, but for the most part, it creates hostility.

I recently bought a piece of property. It is a beautiful piece of property. The pictures look like they could be from a high end resort. It's a park like setting, complete with a pool, hot tub, beautifully built house, and a second guest house. I'm very proud and exited. I think it's going to be a spectacular place to live. I can't help but want to tell everyone I know, and show them pictures, and explain how awesome it is. I'm not sure why I feel compelled to tell everyone of my good fortune. It seems like a strange trait that we humans have. The thing is, I feel I shouldn't. I feel I need to be modest, or even humble. The problem is, what's the difference between telling people of your good fortune, and bragging?

I feel a lot of people spend their lives, trying to impress everyone around them. To me, that seems like a waste. Why someone else's envy is relevant in your decision making process is lost on me, but the big shiny SUV, with chrome 24" rims, Rolex watch, or Prada purse isn't for you. It's for everyone around you to see. People want everyone around them to be envious. If Prada, Oakley, or Mercedes Benz stopped labelling their products, their sales would plummet. Why? Because no one will spend $200 on a pair of sunglasses if they can't brag to their piers that they spend $200 on them.

And lets face it. Most of use don't like people that brag. Personally, I can't stand it. It shows how phony and superficial someone is. I think people that need to spend every dollar they earn trying to impress people are missing out on what is important in life. How does making someone envious make you happy? No one likes having money rubbed in their face. I can't respect anyone who's goal in life is to convince the general public that they are better then them.

That being said, I did not purchase the property I did, based on how much envy I could generate with it, and yet I run the risk of being the asshole that brags about it. 

I've learnt from various people growing up, that you should always pretend you don't have very much money. It seems like a strange concept, but I've done my best to embrace it. I came to the greatest understanding of this concept during the purchase of my new property. During the purchase process, I had to deal with many different people. I had home inspections, septic inspections, dealt with real estate agents, notaries, tenants, and insurance brokers. Some of the people had no issues with me, but I noticed some under toned resentment from others.

I'll use the insurance broker as an example. I originally only talked to her over the phone, and she was very helpfully and eager to assist me. She was familiar with the property, as it was already insured through her company. However, I eventually went into her office to sign some paper work. That's when she realized that I was much younger than she had expected. Even though she didn't know how much I paid for the property, she knew it was very nice, and likely, very expensive. At that point I assume she realized, that someone, clearly much younger than herself, had accumulated much more wealth than she had at her age. My dealings with her from that point on changed. She was short with me, slow to respond to emails, or faxes, and at times even rude. Maybe something else made her act that way, but I assume it was envy, or jealously.

I noticed different responses from people I dealt with during the purchase of the property. When a hard working individual would show up to do an inspection, they looked at me, and the property, and I guess maybe felt cheated, that they didn't have what I do, at my age. It kind of made me feel like a pompous ass. Like some entitled piece of shit punk kid. The thing is, that wasn't my intent when dealing with people. It was hard to be modest when the people were there, looking at the property. 

Showing signs of wealth also has another negative side effect. Don't expect people the give you any breaks on anything. When you can clearly afford expensive things, people will not hesitate to sell you the most expensive of what ever they have to offer, and not give you any sort of discount. The gentleman that did the septic inspection on the property had no problems explaining all the extra things he thought I should splurge on for the property. Things that cost thousands of dollars, that he wouldn't have recommended, had I been buying a cheaper piece of property.

Some people brag, in an attempt to make others envious, and others do it unintentionally. 

You'll never earn respect making people envious. A little humility goes a long way.

Are we aloud to complain?

It's been a while since my last blog, and I guess my blogging in general has been slowing down. I thought that maybe I had run out of things to rant about, but that's not it. It's because I've come to a realization. First world problems aren't problems at all. The things I see going on around my home town, and that I see on the news throughout north America, don't matter.

I've started playing a fun new game with myself. It's a fantastic game. It makes you feel better about yourself, your situation, your social status, or any of your problems really. It's quite simple, and I invite you to play too! All you have to do is, the next time you are upset, or angry, or depressed, or stressed, stop. Take a quick breath, and then, in your head, call yourself out, through the eyes of a person that is much worse off than you. It sounds a bit confusing, so I'll give some examples:

You get your electric bill, and it's quite high. You realize, that the electric company has increased their rates, yet again. You realize you're going to have to be a bit tighter with your money, until payday, to make sure you can afford the bill. Stop! Now, say it in your head, through the eyes of a rickshaw driver, who lives in India, and has his three children and wife living with him in a 400 square foot shack, that doesn't have running water. "Oh, so your dishwasher, big screen TV, washing machine, oven, and air conditioner are costing you a bit too much money, so you might need to cut out the $6 Starbucks coffee tomorrow morning, or god forbid, due without those new designer shoes you've been eyeing up. Life is tough for you. I sure wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

Or how about, your car breaks down on your way to work. Now you're going to be late, you need to pay for a tow truck, who knows how much your repair bill will be, and now you'll need to share your spouses car until yours can be repaired. Stop! Through the eyes of a Darfur refugee, who lived in a small village, but was forced to leave everything he has ever known, to flee rebel forces, that will kill him, his wife, and his children, if he doesn't flee fast enough. "Oh, so one of your families many vehicles has inconvenienced you. Now a very small portion of you annual salary will need to be used to pay someone else to fix it for you. Not to mention the stern talking to you will receive once you get to your place of employment, where you have, a roof, heat, no people with AK-47s trying to kill you,  water that runs through a cooler, because lets face it, room temperature water is almost undrinkable. Then you will need to leave for work 10 maybe even 15 minutes early for the next few days, because you will have to be in the same car as your spouse for the commute to AND from your job. I know I spend 80% of every day, just trying to put food in my families bellies, but dealing with a car breaking down would be horrible. Sucks to be you right now."

See how it works now? Next time you have a problem, try looking at it through someone else's eyes. Someone that has REAL problems. Maybe a single mom, that is working 2 jobs, and is 2 month behind on her rent because she had to miss work to go for chemotherapy. I know that's grim, and dark, and not something to joke about, but that's the point. Some people have real problems. All your drama in life is pretty laughable through the right eyes. If you can have a different perspective, it's easy to make light of a shitty situation. This little game I play is a way to gain instant perspective, and maybe laugh at your situation, instead of cry. Feel free to call others out on their bullshit too. Next time you get a sob story, just say "first world problem". Shuts them up real quick.

I've quoted it before, and I'll quote it again. "And somewhere around the world, someone would love to have my first world problems." Matthew Good.