Wednesday, February 2, 2011

It's knot my falt eye kant spel.

My rant today has nothing to do with politics, or moral standards, good vs evil or anything of importance really. Just an observation I've made about how poorly designed the english langauge is. I am by no means a expert on langauges, but that hasn't stopped me from finding far too many flaws in the english langauge.
I'm a math and science kind of person. I understand physics. It all makes rational sence to me. If you arange the numbers from 1-10 and explain that each number is an increase by one unit, math is easy to understand. If 3+4=7 then 3+5=8. There are rules. If you give someone a math problem, there is one correct answer, because the rules are always true. There is no reasoning, or curcumtances when numbers can be different than what they are. That is why I understand it. It's black and white.
English on the other hand is full of grey areas. If you read the title of this blog, out loud, to another person, they wouldn't know that there are 5 spelling errors in it. So then why is it wrong? You got the point of what I was trying to say. Lets play with some words, starting with the word read. What word did I just type. The word that sounds like reed, or the word that sounds like red? Who knows? Shouldn't you be able to look at a word and know how to pronouce it? If the rule that "ea" makes the same sound as "ee" you can only pronouce the word one way, but for some reason read can be pronouced the same way as red. How does that make sence? Making matters more confusing, the word read is past tense of the word read. Why is the past tense of read, read? The past tense of feed is fed. Why not make red the past tense of read? Oviously because that would be confusing, because red is a color dummy! We have three ways to spell two, too, to, only one of witch, if you sound it out, sounds like the word too. No I didn't just misspell a word because you still said which in your head, so it was spelled right! But it's ok, because we have rules that help us spell the words right! Rite? Like I before E except after C, or sounding like A, like neighbor or weigh. It's weird that an ancient species like us haven't put policies in place to improve the efficiency of these "rules", because I just broke the rule five times in one sentence.  Oneiromancies breaks the rule twice in one word. Of all the words in the english dictionary that contain either CIE or CEI, 66% break the rule! What type of rule is wrong two thirds of the time? So when you have words like right and rite, how do you know witch (I did it again, just for you!) one to use? If EE makes the same sound as EA and SION and TION sound the same at the end of a word, and their and there are two different words that sound the same, and saw and saw are different words, that look the same, and adding a K and a W to a word like no (know) doesn't change it's sound and malt is a word, but falt needs a U (fault) in it for some reason to sound the same way, how the hell are you supposed to know how to spell anything? You want me to memorize how to spell every word in english dictionary? That's why I like math. If I know 2+2=4, 2+3 must =5, but just because I can spell malt and salt, doesn't mean I have any idea how to spell fault.
Todays society (broke it again) forces everything to be spelled correctly. If you spell something wrong on your resume, you wont get the job. You misspell something on your blog, people will point it out the next time they see you. Everything gets spell checked. Reports for companies have to be perfect. For some reason, you are looked at like an idiot if you can't spell. Spelling requires no common sence. It doesn't require problem solving skills. It doesn't follow any rules, or make any rational sence. I requires people to memorize every word you'd ever want to spell. Where is the logic in that? I can't spell. I use google a lot to find spelling for words. I guess I'm dumb. Why the fuck is there a B on the end of dumb anyhow? But I'd rather be good at stuff that matters. Things that make sence. Things I can use in the real world, like math, and physics, and science (broke it again).
Next time you are reading my blog and find I have misspelled a word, understand that the point I was trying to make is no less valid. You still understood what the word was intended to be. Isn't the idea of laugauge to be able to communicate? So we can express our thoughts, and feelings? If a word is spelled wrong or used in the wrong context, does that mean we failed to communicate? The english langauge is full of flaws and yet we demand our skills using it to be flawless. If I want to say "majoritally, people that correct grammer are pinheads" why can't I? You wouldn't say "The collection of people that correct..." you would say "Collectively, people that correct..." Majoritally is not a real word, but you understand what it means, so why not use it? People make mistakes when it comes to words. I'd rther yu forgt a leter in the speling of a wrd than frget to ad a zero on my pay check. Sorry pay cheque.

1 comment:

  1. When one allows the denigration of the English language, and allows words to be hijacked, one ends up with a president that thinks "irregardless" is a word. And then we follow him into war.
    Correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation fundamentally do not require critical thinking; it is as you indicate, merely "learning the rules". However, the sanctity of our language should be preserved and revered for it is the thing that separates us from the animals.
    Lack of attention is laziness and it's sloppiness and when you get lazy and sloppy as a society, bad things happen. Ebonics is the equivalent of the recent Canadian decision to DECREASE the recommended daily level of excersize to accommodate fat kids that are too intimate with their Playstations.
    Revolutionary literature was not produced with misspellings and emoticons.
    As an esteemed friend said "Imagine meeting someone in person who hadn't showered or shaved in a week, and wore mismatched, threadbare and dirty clothes. You probably wouldn't take them seriously, much less care what they might have to say. Spelling and grammar are your appearance and hygeine in print / web".
    When you write that strongly worded letter to Stephen Harper (and because words and your vote are all you have unless you want to get militant), make it good.
    All misspellings in this ranting post are the fault of the poster.

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